jetta

tequila was good. i learned that a big beer and a potentially upset stomach is all you need to make someone a philosopher. i learned about god... and right and wrong. or did i?

i drove home tipsy and paranoid. the cops could smell my ambiguous sobriety, i could tell. a women's soccer game was close to ending so there were no parking spots. i let all the kids out of the car in front of polo and went to look for one anyway. i turned on some music and ran forward till i found that rilo song at the end. drove around the circle and back out in front and i actually found a spot out near the big hill but i got stuck. i didn't want to. so i kept driving, back past polo towards the road. i knew it then.

i knew i was only digging a hole i would have to climb out of later.

but sometimes life isn't dictated by good, intelligent, safe choices but rather what would make you happy in that moment. whatever would ease the longing, the pain. so i drove out the gate as soberly as i could. the song changed but it was a good one. turned right once, twice, three times until i was on the street she lives. rolled quietly and somberly towards what i know i shouldn't see. i imagined the fates steering me towards some passionate scene of love with another guy. but i never saw her little house at all. only a jetta. black. with the correct tags.

i was surprised but i still can't figure out why. a jetta? black? it makes no sense to me. i continued on down the street and around the horseshoe, only to dive back across like i always do. and i drove away. the song changed at the stoplight but it was good. she drives a jetta.

the song changed again before i found a place to park but it was a good one.

jetta. i'll see her tomorrow morning bright and new. we'll make plans JETTA for the night. everything will be wonderful. a hole. a jetta.

jetta.