linen and curls

i am wearing... a driving cap.

and a white t-shirt and good jeans and socks. i feel like i should be on stage in liverpool, really. or on a stage at springfest, really. like it's ever gonna happen.

the presidential ball is coming up in a couple weeks. i heard it's gatsby-themed. if so, i'm officially excited. i didn't even know. ordered these hats on monday cause i'd been looking for something like that online for months. got to school friday right before i left for home. wonderful and cheap.

today was beautiful. i wish there were a better way to describe it but really, it was beautiful. gorgeous southern autumn. maybe a little hot but not bothersome. motorcycles everywhere. i drove around listening to lcd soundsystem thumping hard. felt happy to be who i felt i was. after dinner i drove back slowly in the country singing along to the decemberists. all of a sudden fan. i need to make it to their show soon. in fact, they're playing in winston nov. 6 and 7... two days before bright eyes. what a week.

i've been thinking a lot about the future. the present is frustrating so it's nice to dream. honestly, nothing i've really thought about has included medicine. no med school, pharm school, internships, residencies... nothing. i can see running a dive shop in bermuda. or a skydiving outfit somewhere out west. i can see myself owning and running an alcoholic coffee shop/art gallery/tiny live music venue. i'd call it either "sound of silver" or "moonunit cafe". if you take either of those names i'll kill you. i'd throw some old but comfy furniture about - none matching - and play whatever music i wanted. i'd put a sign in the front window calling for artists to give me shit to decorate my walls with that i could also sell. i could live in a little apartment in a cool part of town and meet interesting people. walk through central park taking pictures with a film camera. i think wherever i live, there will be a motorcycle involved. my mother can believe what she wants.

in fact, i need that camera sooner than later. i want to get some concert pics together.

"my girl, linen and curls..." is there any more beautiful way to describe someone? i believe she's perfect. how much good would it do me to meet someone about now? wake's pool is just so small... and, more importantly, i'm just so... i understand that you can't meet someone without ever speaking to them but somehow i still haven't gotten past it.

to someday, cheers.

the decemberists, "crane wife 1&2", 2:25 in. that's exactly how i feel about the future.